Our relationship with God

We all know that we need to have a relationship with God, but what does that look like? There is a lot of information in the Bible describing the type of relationship God wants us to have with Him.  We see from these that we are to fear, honor, respect, and love Him.  To help put these, and others, in context He has also given us the overarching analogy that he is our Father.  This leads to the question: what kind of relationship do you want to have with your children?  I think it will be helpful to keep this in mind as we look at a few of the passages that teach us about the kind of relationship God wants to have with us.

Many focus on the honor, respect, or fear that we are to show towards God.  Though many might disagree, I do believe that when the Bible says “fear God”, it means just that.  We see this in 1 Peter.

1 Peter 2 17 Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.

The Greek word translated as “fear” is phobeó, which is where we get our word “phobia”.  It is defined by Strongs as “to put to flight, to terrify, frighten”.  This is off-putting to some who want to view God as warm, caring, and loving only. How can we reconcile this with the command we see clearly in 1 Peter?  How many of us have good relationships with our fathers on Earth, but can also remember a time when you got caught doing something you shouldn’t have and heard the phrase “wait till your father gets home”.  What did you feel then?  Even if you knew all that would happen is you would get a stern talking to, you sat in your room afraid.  This fear is good and kept me out of a lot of trouble. I often tell my kids that I want to be their friend and their “Dad” and as long as they are being good people I can be.  I’ll then add that if they stop being who they should be I will have to be their “Father”.  I don’t want them to be afraid of me, I want them to be encouraged to make good decisions and if they are ever tempted away I am ok with there being a little fear.  This is what God is talking about in Hebrews.

Hebrews 12  5 and you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons, “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, Nor faint when you are punished by Him; 6 For whom the Lord loves He disciplines, And He punishes every son whom He accepts.” 7 It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. 11 For the moment, all discipline seems not to be pleasant, but painful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterward it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

Beyond this we are told to respect and honor God in much the same way our fathers here required that we respected them and that we require it from our children.  I find it quite humbling that we are again given Jesus as the perfect example.

Hebrews 5 7 In the days of His humanity, He offered up both prayers and pleas with loud crying and tears to the One able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His devout behavior.

I’m convinced that “devout behavior” would have been better translated as “respect” or “reverence”. In Helps Word Studies this Greek word “eulabeia” is explained as ("godly respect") illustrated by a person carrying a priceless Persian vase across the room – which will always be in a "devout" (respectful) fashion!

We should not be careless with our relationship with God.  It is important, worth more than anything else we have, and necessary for our salvation. We see further examples of why in 1 Samuel and Luke.

1 Samuel 2:30 for those who honor Me I will honor, and those who despise Me will be insignificant. 

Luke 18 10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood and began praying this in regard to himself: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, crooked, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’ 13 But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to raise his eyes toward heaven, but was beating his chest, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, the sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other one; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

We see in Proverbs exactly what any good father tries to do with their children.  We want what is best for them so we teach, correct and discipline them. They don’t often see the wisdom in what we have them do, but we are training them the best we can so that they will be good people because we know this will help them lead a happy and well-adjusted life. We expect our children to respect us because we believe that we deserve it based on what we have done and will do for them.  We also recognize a difference between children and adults in every culture across the world.  The very fact of our age implies wisdom and is so well understood we have the common phrase “respect your elders”. In the time we have lived we have learned the consequences of bad decisions and try to make our children better by preventing them from making the same mistakes.  The Lord treats us the same.  Unfortunately we often look at what He says as coming from a demanding Overlord and not a loving Father.

Proverbs 3 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. 7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.8 It will be healing to your body And refreshment to your bones. 9 Honor the Lord from your wealth, And from the first of all your produce; 10 Then your barns will be filled with plenty, And your vats will overflow with new wine. 11 My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord Or loathe His rebuke, 12 For whom the Lord loves He disciplines, Just as a father disciplines the son in whom he delights.

We want our children to listen to what we say, again, because we have their best interests in mind. We are not raising slaves, but do expect obedience.  We don’t expect this because we are on an ego trip and demand that they serve us to show our power over them.  We do this because we know that honesty, hard work, and self-control is the right path although lying, video games, and temper tantrums come easier.  We don’t enforce this on other children because they aren’t ours.  Jesus makes a similar point in Luke.

Luke 6:46 why do you call me Lord Lord, but do not do what I say?

If we are His children, we should respect and obey Him. I Luke Jesus points out this inconsistency.  We don’t often use “Lord”, but understand it also means “master”.  How can you call someone your master, but not obey them? To obey Him we have to know what He has asked us to do.  This implies being familiar with His word, reading the Bible. In Matthew Jesus makes the point that there will be many who tried to serve Him, but did not do it according to what was asked. As a father, I expect my children to respect me enough to listen to what I say and do what I ask. The other day I asked my son to bring up a bucket of mulched leaves for a flowerbed.  He brought up a bucket of leaves.  When I noticed they were not mulched he said he couldn’t find the mulched leaves.  I believe this is exactly what Jesus is talking about in Matthew.

Matthew 7 21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. 22 Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; leave Me, you who practice lawlessness.’

We see real examples of this in Cain in Genesis 4 and Nadab and Abihu in Leviticus.

Leviticus 10 Now Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, took their respective firepans, and after putting fire in them, placed incense on [a]the fire and offered [b]strange fire before the Lord, which He had not commanded them. 2 And fire came out from the presence of the Lord and consumed them, and they died before the Lord. 

Cain offered a sacrifice that was not in line with what was requested.  Nadab and Abihu used fire that did not come from where God directed.  In each case these people were doing something to serve God, but not according to the law they were given.

God also desires frequent and consistent interaction, much like we desire and need in any relationship we expect to last. We are instructed to consult with God frequently.

1 Thessalonians 5 17 pray without ceasing,

Ephesians 6 18 With every prayer and request, pray at all times in the Spirit,

If you don’t talk with someone often, the relationship suffers and may die altogether.  Many know an older couple whose children never call or visit.  It is obvious that the relationship is not good between them because of the lack of frequency.  You can not grow a relationship without working on that relationship. The only way we can have the close relationship with God that He desires is frequent interaction. The most humbling and surprising thing to me about all of this is that God wants to have a close relationship with us and call us His children.  Let that sink in.  This is not an analogy, rhetorical, or just a club we get to join.  We read about this below noting that “Abba Father” represents a closeness more like “daddy” than “Father”.

Romans 8 12 So then, brothers and sisters, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh— 13 for if you are living in accord with the flesh, you are going to die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons and daughters of God. 15 For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons and daughters by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.

When I think of God and my relationship with Him I like to consider the relationship I want to have with my children.  Understanding that this is how He looks at me is beyond reassuring.