Our relationships with others

When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was He said to love God.  He then added that the second was to love each other adding that everything they had been taught up to this point was meant to emphasize these two simple concepts.

Matthew 22 36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 Upon these two commandments hang the whole Law and the Prophets.”

How we treat each other is very important to God. Consider this common situation from a Father’s perspective.  All parents know that if you give each child in a group a colored ball, they had better be the same size and color or there will be fighting. As adults we see this bickering over insignificant balls as silly and can get angry at the children as they prioritize the balls over the other children. We recognize that there are far more important things in life. We then congratulate ourselves for being more mature then them, go home and envy our neighbors large house and fast car. Maybe we resent our coworker that got the promotion we deserved or look down on someone who struggles with a sin different from the sin we struggle with. When we do this our Father looks at us as we look at the children with the colored balls. This is what is taught in Matthew with a parable.

Matthew 18: 23 “For this reason the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his slaves. 24 And when he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. 25 But since he did not have the means to repay, his master commanded that he be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment be made. 26 So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ 27 And the master of that slave felt compassion, and he released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe!’ 29 So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’ 30 But he was unwilling, and went and threw him in prison until he would pay back what was owed. 31 So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their master all that had happened. 32 Then summoning him, his master *said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ 34 And his master, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he would repay all that was owed him. 35 My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”

Our goal should be to align with God.  He desires all men to be saved as we read in 1 Timothy.

1 Timothy 2 :3 This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, 4 who wants all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. 

When we fight with others, we must recognize that our earthly goals are conflicting with Gods desire for all to be saved. If our relationship with another is bad, we can lose influence and potentially drive them away from God. We can become a stumbling block for them.

Luke 17: 1 Now He said to His disciples, “It is inevitable that stumbling blocks come, but woe to one through whom they come! 2 It is better for him if a millstone is hung around his neck and he is thrown into the sea, than that he may cause one of these little ones to sin. 3 Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.”

Although Jesus said the first commandment was to love God and the second is to love our neighbor, we see in Matthew that loving your neighbor is required to serve God. Here we are told to, first be reconciled to our brother, then present our offering to God.

Matthew 5: 21 “You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not murder,’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be answerable to the court.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be answerable to the court; and whoever says to his brother, You good-for-nothing,’ shall be answerable to the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. 23 Therefore, if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there you remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. 25 Come to good terms with your accuser quickly, while you are with him on the way to court, so that your accuser will not hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you will not be thrown into prison. 26 Truly I say to you, you will not come out of there until you have paid up the last quadrans.

This can be difficult to understand, but if we look at it from the perspective of our Heavenly Father it becomes clear.  Imagine that your children have been angry with each other for some time bickering and fighting.  Fathers day rolls around and they pause their fighting just long enough to give you a gift. Are you going to tear open the gift excited to see what they got you or are you going to get on to them for fighting? Which is more important to you, that your children develop a lasting friendship with each other or the new tie they got you for Fathers day? We must always remember that God sees us as His children, all of us.

The best way to do this is to remember our example of how far Christ was willing to humble Himself.

Philippians 2:  3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. 5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, as He already existed in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7 but emptied Himself by taking the form of a bond-servant and being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death: death on a cross. 9 For this reason also God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, 

Whatever we think we deserve based on our social status, hard work, intellect, fame, … It is nothing compared to Christ, who let go of equality with God so that He could look out for our interests. This brings us back to our first parable in Matthew 18. The point of this parable is to help us understand the big picture. Christ made the greatest sacrifice we can comprehend to make us right with God and give us a chance to be His adopted children.  This is a gift of which we can not comprehend the greatness. When compared with this gift, Heaven, and Hell, whatever we are fighting about here on Earth, no matter how important it seems to us now is really just us fighting over which colored ball we got. It is hard to hear this sometimes, but if you truly believe in Heaven and Hell, will you care about any of the things that seem so significant now in 100 years?  Will they still be significant to you even in 50 years?

Instead of worrying about these things, lets strive to fulfill the first and second greatest commandment, Love.  We must also recognize that this isn’t always an easy thing to do.  Love is not just a feeling, but a way of life defined by God in 1 Corinthians. These are the attributes we must master to align with Gods will.

1 Corinthians 13 4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. 5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, 6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.